"Are they laughing at us? No they are laughing next to us", what to do about bullying

An issue which I think many parents are aware of today is bullying.  There are local and national campaigns against bullying, which are admirable  but often miss the mark when it comes to special needs children.
When I was working in a public school, which had wonderful, kind and considerate teachers, great kids etc. one of the meanest things the kids could call one another was a "sped" (special education kid). Often such name calling went unattended or "unnoticed" but it really bothered me.
People think that special needs children often aren't hurt by such name calling becuase they don't respond or seem unaware of it. This is only true, part of the time.
Many children who have everything from learning disabilities to Down syndrome to autism not only "get" that kind of thing they are deeple hurt by it but are unable to respond to it.

A recent study called: "walk a mile in their shoes" reported that special needs children are not only more likely to experience bullying but that it can be an almost daily event. Contrary to popular belief, home schooled children are not immune from experiencing bullying. They often have to deal with less of it but they do experience it and sometime just being homeschooled single the child out for bullying.
When my daughter was young, she had a girl tell her: "I won't play with you because you are home schooled. Home school kids are weird". My very verbal, strong daughter's response: "I'd rather be home schooled and thought to be weird, then to know I was a rude bully".
As a family we have worked hard to give our son skills to deal with direct bullying and he does well. He has told children to their face that they are either rude, unkind or unfriendly. The biggest problem though is the whispers behind his back or the "subtle" types of verbal abuse which he often doesn't pick up on.
 The other "unseen" victims of bullying are the parents.
As a mother, a part of me dies, every time I hear someone being called a moron (this was what autistic children were once termed), or when some well meaning person comes up to me to tell me my son has done or said something.
Children on the spectrum often look "normal" but their speech and behaviors are not. I can always remember one women in a grocery store telling me I needed to smack my son because he was telling me he needed to go home. She thought he was being undisciplined. I knew he was using an appropriate way to let me know he was overstimulated by the store. What he had done previously was to cry and scream when the store became too much for him.
In conversations with other parents, I know that some people think claiming your child has autism (or other special need such as ADD etc.) is just an excuse to not discipline your child, or that it is a result of "bad" parenting. My response to people who have said this to me is that they are welcome to "choose" my life for a day and see how that works for them.
Sometimes I have experienced bullying from other parents who have autistic children. I do not and have never followed a special diet, my son was fully immunized (and no this did not cause his autism) etc. There are people who will bully you when you do not adhere to their way of thinking. If a special diet works for your child or if it does nothing more than empower you to feel that you are doing everything you can to help your child than more power to you. I support and salute you.  In return I ask that you support and salute me and my family in how we are living with out special needs child.
As parents of special needs children we need to dis0able bullying on all fronts, and model correct behaviors to our children and the rest of the world by supporting on another, not tearing each other down.