Shadows and Sunshine

Shadows and sunshine

One of the big life events that overshadowed our families' life, was M8's diagnosis with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD, Aspergers) several years ago. 
At the time, it was as if the world stood still and slowly shattered into pieces. All my education told me the "facts": autism is a developmental disorder with no known cause, no known treatment or "cure", people effected with autism have less than a 4% chance of living independently as adults, many need constant care and support. 
My faith told me that God did not make mistakes, that He was sovereign and had a purpose for me, our family and our son. The big problem was putting those two things together in a way that made any sense.
I remember talking and weeping with two friends who have sons with Aspergers, reading many books, web-post etc. The help and support I have had over the last few years, especially from one saintly friend BL, who has several special needs children meant so much. If through writing an occasional blog I could help one person that would be worth it to me.

 One book that resounded with me was, Sharon Hensley's book Home Schooling Children with Special Needs
Sharon has an autistic daughter, whom she home schooled. In her book, Sharon described those first dark days, after receiving her daughters' diagnosis of lying on the floor weeping and struggling with that same dilemma: If God is in control, if He is sovereign, if He does not give us more than we can bear, why is this happening and why do I feel so crushed?
Now four years later I can attest to the fact that God was there in that deep pit, that He extended His hand and when I took it, He helped me take one step. Was there some huge miracle? Was my son suddenly cured, was life suddenly easy? No. Especially in the beginning, the biggest achievement was getting out of bed in the morning and taking one step. However, I am thankful that every single day I get to witness how God is working a miracle in my son's life, in my life and that of the rest of our family. So, some of my blogs will be about homeschooling special needs children: my ddE13 who is gifted and a sibling of M8 who has ASD.
The other day, I was sadly telling M8 that soon E wold be all grown up and would leave home. "Don't worry mommy", M said, "I'll always be with you". When I suggested that he might not , he said: "Oh I cannot leave". "Why not, I asked? " Because, I am your sunshine", he said.
For there to be shadows in one's life, there has to be sunshine!